My Immortal
by Kenta Divina
Summary: Unknown to Kagome, Inuyasha is having serious thoughts about his relationships between her and Kikyo. 2 parts
1. Inuyasha

Like I said a while ago – Fanfiction reformatted itself and ate my quotations. Thus, I am re-uploading bits and pieces and a very slow rate.

Author's Note: I heard this song and I just had to write this :) It's set during one of those times Kagome is left in the shadow of Kikyo, but still loves Inuyasha. He is stuck once again trying to balance two lives and two hearts. It was originally going to have both Kagome and Inuyasha, but here's the result.

I have no rights to Evanescence or Inuyasha.

I LOVE Inuyasha's ears! Especially when he gets embarrassed or caught in a lie.

My Immortal

A lone figure sat leaning against a wooden well partially grown over with time. Golden eyes were sightless as they stared at the cheerful day around them. It had happened yet again.

_I'm so tired of being here_

At moments like these, he felt like the helpless, powerless hanyou his brother always scorned him for being. For all his promises, he could never protect the one's he cared about from himself.

_Suppressed by all of my childish fears_

He had always been alone. His rejection by those around him led to detachment for his own protection. His mother had loved him unconditionally, his father had some care for his mixed son, but in his heart of hearts, there had been no one. Until he met Kikyo. Until he met Kagome.

_And if you have to leave_

Yet he was always driving them away - Kagome especially. Her frankness constantly unbalanced him. Her ability to think before acting annoyed him. Her ability to 'sit' him was infuriating. Things between them would build until one would leave, and then apologies would have to be made - though a long series of lectures were usually given to Inuyasha by the other members of their party before any moves were made.

_I wish that you would just leave_

Now he sat by the gateway to her time. It had been another fight, but this one had reached closer to the truth. It hadn't even been the usual exchange of heated words. Kagome had seen one of the unintended meetings with Kikyo. When he had turned to walk away, he had caught a glimpse of her uniform. He couldn't follow as she silently slipped away. Around the campfire, she watched him with clear brown eyes, wordlessly pleading. He couldn't return her gaze. Finally she stood and turned to Sango.

"Sango-chan, may I borrow Kirara?"

Puzzled, the other woman nodded.

The Shippo jumped up on her shoulder. "Where are you going Kagome?"

She gently put him back down. "I'm going home."

He didn't even look up as she climbed up on the feline's back.

_Because Your presence still lingers here_

She returned to her world, leaving the others to start questioning the hanyou. After bearing the accusations for as long as he could, he leapt up into a tree and growled.

"This is between her and me. Shut up and leave us alone!"

Springing from tree to tree, touching the ground whenever necessary, he followed Kagome. She had already gone through the well when he reached it, but he could still smell her. Crossing his legs, he sat and waited, her freshness surrounding him, teasing and haunting.

_And it won't leave me alone_

As he waited, his mind began searching on its own for an answer to the puzzle of his emotions. When had things become so complicated? It had been so simple waiting for the chance to steal the Shikon jewel and become a full demon. Simple, even when he began loving Kikyo. Then Naraku came and turned everything upside down and Kagome became involved from the future.

_These wounds won't seem to heal_

Unconsciously he touched the small scar over his heart. The place where Kikyo's betrayal had sealed him. Even with his remarkable healing ability, that arrow had left a permanent mark. It had shredded whatever possible future he could have made with the miko. But it also brought Kagome, saved Kagome.

_This pain is just too real_

Past and future were at war with one another. Just as souls within the Shikon struggled for dominance, so did the emotions and thoughts battle within his head. He growled to himself and dug his claws in the thick grass at his side. He wanted to just forget about everything - cut it all away and stop being so weak.

_There's just too much that time cannot erase_

A memory swam unbidden out of the turmoil. Kagome, attacking the web of that spider demon monk with a rusty sword. Her tears as he hung helplessly in the air. She had cried for him, something Kikyo had never done. But Kikyo had been the first to trust him. She had laid her silent, lonely existence in his unsure hands, telling him that they were very much alike because of their separation from the one's they cared for.

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears_

He hated when a woman cried. He hated it when his mother had shed tears over his head, salt water dampening his curious ears. It stirred something deep inside him, something he didn't understand and whenever he found something confusing, his first reaction was to leave it alone. But he couldn't leave her alone. Kagome's tears of so many different emotions. Emotions he had never let himself indulge in. Tears shed for him, not from fear, pity, or regret, but from a heart more understanding and forgiving than he could in his long life ever comprehend.

_When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears_

After she saw him in his human form, shed her tears in fear for his life, he swore to himself to always keep her from crying again. He'd broken that promise many times, but he still clung to the vow. She had learned quickly how to fight demons, and could shoot a decent arrow, but she still needed a hand now and then. They fought well together. She could hold her own against him in will power, and he was smart enough to remember how often stubbornness led to unhealthy situations. Somehow they had made an unconscious alliance and understanding. It was never spoken of out loud but no matter when or where Kagome stormed off to, he could always find her if trouble arose. He would not let Naraku take away another innocent life under his protection.

_And I've held your hand through all of these years_

He could protect her, and Kikyo. He would, even in his uncontrollable demon form. His memories of those time were blurred in a blood colored mist, but he remembered her scent, even then. He had slaughtered hundreds in a rage, villagers and monsters alike. No voice could reach his rational self. He had power, but it wasn't what he thought it would be. When he had come back to himself, the stench of human blood would not wash away. For the first time he hated his existence, hated the mix flowing through his veins. To his surprise, Kagome had been waiting, wide brown eyes full of sorrow, but not pity. Embarrassed, he had tried to ignore her, but she simply handed him a towel and sat next to him. For a long moment they sat unmoving before she shifted to her knees and gently wrapped her arms around him.

_But you still have all of me_

Now she was probably in her room, fuming at him with every right to be angry. Or else she was studying again for that strange 'skool'. Either way, she wasn't here. He couldn't figure out why reading books would help her in the future. There was no experience in books, just words and symbols. She really just needed to stay here. How could anything in that strange-smelling modern world be of any use? There were no trees, just great stone and metal buildings the size of small mountains and hot roads with strange, horseless vehicles. She seemed happier here in this age where there was clean sunlight and fresh, untainted air.

_You used to captivate me_

There was one thing Kikyo never had which radiated from Kagome, and that was innocence. Both were pure, devoted to a fault, and never gave up, but the soul within Kagome was different. It confused him when he first woke from the fifty year sealing. The irritation and anger as she repeated her name to him was untainted by fear or hate. Something he had never seen before. It was what drew him to follow her, kept him from shredding her to pieces when he understood the powers of the rosary. She had no fear of him.

_By your resonating light_

It was her innocence which radiated from her soul and drew others to her. Untrained miko powers made her formidable, but she would never be able to fully use them. With a touch she had broken his prison. With a word she sent him head first into a river, or face first in the dirt. With a smile she somehow made things feel better. With a tear, she made him stronger.

_But now I'm bound by the life you left behind_

Exasperated at his strange new way of thinking, he stood and walked away from the well. By the position of the sinking sun, he had been sitting there for a couple hours. Like hell he'd follow her now. She would probably just complain about how he always bothers her while she's trying to 'study' or that he was only there for the ramen. Not entirely true. He like watching her, it was soothing.

_Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams_

Growling to himself, he leapt through the trees. In no time at all he found himself at the Kami tree. Sitting down at the base of the trunk, he crossed his arms and closed his eyes. This time he would wait for her to come back on her own. He wasn't some pet dog, expected to come begging. But trying to sleep only made thing worse. He could see her in his mind, one of the times he had found her asleep in her room. She had called out his name in a dream, before promptly 'sitting' him. Or that one time when he had watched her study, half asleep himself. She had set down her pencil for a moment with a sigh to stretch. She couldn't see his eyes beneath the heavy silver bangs, but he could see her strange expression of gentle laughter, sorrow, and longing.

_Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me_

His eyes shot open.

Author's note: This will be concluded in Kagome's perspective. I hope this wasn't confusing or out of character for our favorite dog-eared hero. I just don't think people give him enough credit for smarts. He's hardheaded and quick to action, but he does have his moments. He's been around for over fifty years, even if most of that was sleeping, so he has to have some brains.

Author's Note: Wow, that was an amazing response. I didn't think it was _that_ good. Sorry for the wait. Thank you!


	2. Kagome

My Immortal - part 2

Dropping her pencil on the desk with a clatter, she turned to look out the window. How long ago was it when her life had some semblance of normalcy? When all she had to worry about was her next test, her grandfather's next droning lecture, or Sota's next burst of curiosity. A time when stories were just stories, legends were only legends, and tradition merely a routine of every day life. A time before when the past mattered.

She slid open the widow and leaned on the sill, watching the sun die in a gentle blaze of crimson and gold. Colors just like his red haori and expressive eyes. Frustrated, she slammed the glass shut and flopped on the bed. Burying her face in the smooth pillow with a groan, she began the long process of once again sorting out her thoughts concerning a half-demon five hundred years from the past.

_These wounds won't seem to heal_

Besides losing her average high school life, she also seemed to have lost her level headedness. No matter how often she told herself that she was happy with her friends from the Feudal era, something in her heart would cry. She knew her place in that time and this. Her duty was to save the world from Naraku and his darkness. Reincarnated miko or not, her conscience would not allow inaction when she knew her strange new powers were needed. Which led her right back to the source of her problem. Once she thought she knew who she was - just plain Kagome. Now there was Kikyo, possibly her ancestor, possibly herself in another lifetime. But those lifetimes had overlapped. And as if to laugh at her, Fate placed one unique hanyou between them.

_This pain is just too real_

She rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling. He had done it again, avoiding her yet for some reason never able to let her out of sight for more than a few moments. It hurt being reminded that her presence was a reflection of an impossibly cruel past. His warm eyes were dim with memory that afternoon like they always were after coming across Kikyo. He hardly ever looked in her direction for hours, sometimes days after. Those few times he did were only heralds of even greater moments of torment.

Why did she care so much? Her friends were right, he was selfish, rude, crass, and insensitive. Yet there was something about him deep inside which she kept finding glimpses of, something so small and delicate which made her want to reach out and cradle in her hands like a snowflake. She knew that inside he was still a child, not much older than herself. She also knew that he had seen more suffering and abuse than any innocent heart should endure. How on earth could she think he would ever see the care she had for him? How could he understand, when she didn't understand herself?

_There's just too much that time cannot erase_

There were endless times when she had been reminded that she didn't hold a candle to Kikyo. Kikyo had paid the ultimate sacrifice for her love, and what could a simple mortal girl from centuries in the future compare? All she could do was collect the shards of the Shikon which she had shattered in the first place.

Kagome got up and walked to the kitchen. Sota was rummaging in the cabinets as she opened the freezer. He came out with a bag of potato chips as she dished out a serving of ice cream. Mother and Grandfather were already in bed. She winked at her brother before sitting down at the table. He giggled and went back into the living room with his video games. Taking up her spoon, she contemplated on what might have happened if she had never fallen through that well. Granted, things would be much more simple, but very dull. In her previous sixteen years she had been the model student, caring daughter, and responsible older sister. But sometimes in the dead of night she would wake up abruptly for no apparent reason and feel an intense longing for something... possibly someone? If she hadn't fallen into that other time, she would have never known how strong she was, or how strong friendship could be. She would have never loved.

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears_

Why couldn't he see her as... well... at least as an equal. Hoping for anything more at the moment would be frivolous and open to a harsh disappointment. He was so walled up against the world inside. He had no family - she mentally rephrased that thought - no caring family, and no real reason to trust anyone. Everyone he could turn to had left or turned on him. But it was unfair that he should turn that judgment on her. Of all the hundreds of times she had tried to separate herself from Kikyo, he still held that grudge against her.

Frustration boiled over and she dug her spoon into her dessert. "I am who I am and no one can tell me otherwise." Just like him.

_When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears_

All those times when he had lost himself in his demon blood still haunted her. His warm golden eyes turned a vicious red without any trace of humanity. When Tetsusaiga failed how could any of them know that his sanity would leave him. At first even in his crazed, battle hungry state, he recognized her. But later on, neither her voice nor the binding spell could stop him. Once he wanted the Shinkon to turn into a full demon, but would that mean sacrificing his human soul? When he fell in love with Kikyo, they had planned on making him fully human, but then would he lose his strength to protect? The only way to end the cycle of chaos surrounding the Shinkon was to destroy it. But by what method? Where would she, Kagome, stand once it was finished?

_And I've held your hand through all of these years_

She rinsed out her ice cream bowl and left it in the sink. Watching the water flow over her hands, she sighed. Demon and man and child all rolled into one. Each one making one an entirely unique being. Taking away a part would destroy the person she had come to cherish. She didn't want him to become a demon, or a man - just simply Inuyasha. She wanted to stand by his side and help him through the rest of eternity.

_But you still have all of me_

Turning off the kitchen lights, she noticed the sudden silence throughout the house. Sota had gone to bed. The clock told her it was just past midnight and yet she was wide awake. Perhaps a short walk would help.

_I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone_

Somehow her feet led her to the foot of the Kami tree. Her mother had said that it always gave her peace, so maybe it could do the same for her. Starlight and moonlight cast confusing shadows on the ground in an almost hypnotizing pattern. The wind swept gently through the courtyard, as if in encouragement. She stood for a while, simply gazing up at the ancient tree and the tear shaped scar on it's trunk. This is where she first met Inuyasha. This is where it started.

Carefully she climbed over the low wooden fence around the base of the tree. Settling herself against it's base, she couldn't help smiling. His ears were the first thing which had caught her attention. Almost catlike in their appearance and extremely easy to read when he was thinking. Cute ears placed with a not-so-cute attitude. She shook her head fondly.

"Inuyasha, you idiot. Even at times like these I can't help but forgive you."

Closing her eyes, she drew her knees up to her chest and rested her head on them. No matter how angry she was, she always returned. She knew she always would return until the well's magic prevented her passage.

_And though you're still with me_

Her mother had said that this is where her father proposed. It was a place of new beginnings. Perhaps it was fitting that she turn over a new leaf of life here. From now on, she would not deny that she loved Inuyasha. Whatever came of it, she would accept. She would go back in the morning with a clean slate and fall back into the routine of shard searching. All that would change would be her understanding.

A warm breeze wrapped around her, caressing her eyes shut. With a sigh she let herself drift to sleep.

_I've been alone all along_

Only a scrape of claws on wood gave away another in the shadows. Kagome's curled figure shifted unconsciously as caring eyes watched. Silently standing over her, Inuyasha smirked. Gently gathering her up, he let her head nestle in the hollow between his shoulder and chin. Her hand instinctively clutched the collar of his haori and she murmured,

"Inuyasha..."

Walking towards her house, he made sure that those inside were preoccupied before leaping to her window. Once inside he was faced with the slight problem of untangling himself from her tightly grasping hands.

She came partially awake as he tucked her under the covers and gave her head an awkward pat. Rolling over, she caught him by the sleeve as he turned back to the window. Without a word, she tugged. He hesitated,

"Kagome?"

She pulled again and he relented. Curling up on the bed alongside her, he blinked in surprised when she drew his arm over her. With his nose practically buried in the back of her neck, he barley caught her sleepy whisper,

"Tired of being 'lone."

He waited until her breathing slowed and deepened before daring to move. Shifting slightly closer, he nuzzled her ear before ever-so-gently nipping her neck.

"So am I."

Author's Note: Hee hee... I loved the ending. I think one of the best scenes is during the episode when Kagome is sick and he makes her his mother's medicine. Then he gives her a pat while she's getting ready to sleep. It takes a lot for me to gush, but I couldn't help thinking 'Awwww!!!'

Everyone, you're the best for reviewing. I hope I fulfilled your expectations.


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